After the Affair

How to Save Your Relationship After Cheating

© Cherie Burbach

You can repair things after a break up, Alberto Camin

Saving a relationship after your partner has committed infidelity can be a difficult thing to do. But it is possible. Here are some tips to help you move on.

Face it head on.

Cheating can be a difficult thing to confront your partner with. After all, you want to trust them. If you suspect your partner of cheating, you have to confront them honestly and directly. You will only be able to move on from the issue of cheating once you've determined the level of unfaithfulness your partner has committed.

Don't try to "get back" at your partner by embarrassing them or cheating, or having an emotional affair.

You have every right to be angry and hurt, but doing something to retaliate for your partner's infidelity will not help you feel any better in the long run. Don't commit an act you'll one day regret.

Don't use your partner's past infidelity as a weapon going forward.

Forgiving your partner for cheating can be the most difficult thing you'll ever do. But it is key to moving on both in the relationship and from it. Remember, though, once you forgive your partner, you're not allowed to keep bringing up the issue. Live with the belief that your partner is working on the relationship as hard as you are. Bringing up the past for no good reason (even when you're angry and hurt) will only serve to hinder you both from moving forward.

Fix any relationship issues that may have led to the infidelity.

Cheating is wrong, let's be clear about that. Sometimes one partner's affairs may have more to do with their own character flaws than with issues in the relationship. Some people are cheaters, plain and simple. But if this is not the case in your relationship, you need to come to terms with underlying issues between the two of you. Seek professional help if you need to. Without doing this step, you will likely continue with a relationship that is rocky at best.

Work on rebuilding your relationship by taking part in activities that helped bring you close in the beginning.

Get back to the roots of why you fell in love. Go on dates again! Participate in activities that help you be a team. Surround yourself with friends who support your relationship.

Make sure the affair has ended.

A promise that your partner will end the affair is not the same as truly ending it. Be clear on the fact that in order to continue with the relationship, your partner must have already ended the affair and will not engage in another one. No compromises on this one.


The copyright of the article After the Affair in Dating Advice is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish After the Affair must be granted by the author in writing.


You can repair things after a break up, Alberto Camin
       

Comments
May 12, 2008 3:39 PM
Guest :
That's not enough, I cheated after my husband cheated and it hurt me at first but then I started to enjoy hurting him and yes it hurt him but we still love eachother but were apart now where do we go from here?
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