You've spent that hour out on your first meeting and had a great time. Now what?
Reflect Back on Your Date
The first thing you must do when you get back from a coffee date is to reflect back on the time you spent. Dates in general can seem very exciting, so allow yourself a few hours to get over that rush.
Then, think about your date. Did you two really click? Or were you the one that seemed to be chatting away? Did he or she seem into you? Did anything seem strange about his or her behavior?
If you’re not sure if you’d like to see your date again, give it a few days to see how you feel. If you’d like to perhaps see him or her again but are not ready to go on a “real” first date, send a note saying you’d like to meet again for coffee.
There is nothing wrong with being careful or with having a couple of low-key, one-hour meetings until you feel comfortable enough to have an extended date.
Follow Up With a Suggestion to Meet
If you determine that you want to see the person again, send a note the next day saying how much you enjoying meeting him or her. Tell your date that you’d like to go out again, and suggest a specific time and place you could meet. Have an acceptable first date activity in mind so you’ll be ready with a suggestion.
One of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to coffee dates is simply waiting to hear if your date liked you as much as you did them. Many times people on coffee dates will tell the other person “they’ll be in touch” which in no way is a promise and is merely another way to say goodbye. Therefore, it’s a good idea to keep dating casually until you hear from him or her.
Continue to Date Others Casually
Remember, just because you went on a coffee date doesn’t mean the two of you are actually dating. It just means you finally got to meet in person after emailing and chatting on the phone. Don’t assume you are now a couple or even that the other person is seeing you exclusively.
While you wait for your date to contact you back, keep contacting other people. Go to speed dating events or email other singles online. In short, continue living your already full single life. If your date doesn’t get back to you, don’t send another email or try calling. Accept that this wasn’t the right person for you, and move on.
Politely Say No Thanks
If you didn’t seem to click with your date, send an email the next day saying you enjoyed meeting him or her but don’t think the two of you are compatible. Add that you hope he or she finds their ideal match. Ending your communication this way is perfectly acceptable, especially given the fact that you probably got to know each other through email to begin with.
Most of all, don’t get discouraged. Part of the fun of dating is simply meeting different people. You will naturally click more with some people more than others. Regardless of how many coffee dates you go on, remember to have fun and embrace the adventure that dating can be.
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