An Ex Belongs to the Past
Memories of Past Love Affairs Can Ruin the Present
Separation can be a very painful experience, especially for couples who have been together for a long time. However, there are many cases when separation is inevitable and sometimes it is even good because it puts an end to an agonizing relationship. Yes, it is easier to say than do but an ex is an ex and he or she shouldn't be allowed to haunt the present.
Memories Don't Help
Living in the past is not a vital strategy. The world changes and when one is obsessed by memories of past days, everything around him or look looks gray. Life becomes meaningless and unhappiness is a frequent companion. Needless to say, this post separation trauma could turn into a serious condition and there are many good reasons why one should forget his or her ex.
Denial of the fact that the breakup has happened is common but it is a self-preservation instinct to try to forget the torturing memories. The sooner this happens, the better.
Sometimes it is very hard to survive a breakup, even for the party, which terminated the relationship. In this case there are many actions to take in order to survive a breakup and not let past love affairs ruin the present.
An Ex Can Ruin the Present
In addition to unhappiness and even depression, permanent thoughts about a beloved ex can lead to the inability to find (and retain) a new lover. Consider Jennifer Aniston. Many people sympathized with her when her husband left her. But now, a few years later, after she had been dumped by a bunch of other guys, she is drawing less sympathy and many people consider her a loser.
The fact that Jen continues to cry how mean her ex had been to her doesn't make her look more attractive. Just the opposite – it feels more and more that she was rightfully dumped.
Love pain is strong and a beloved ex is hard to forget but when this interferes with the present, this is certainly not a vital strategy. Even when one is truly compassionate to the past drama of his or her lover, it is really hard to stand constant monologues about how cute he/she used to be and how much suffering the breakup brought, not to mention comparisons between the present lover and the adorable, out of this world, ex. Such memories can kill any relationship.
Live for the Future
One of the reasons why people constantly think (and talk) about an ex is the hope that he or she will come back. While there are such cases, (successful) reunions are not so frequent. Of course, it varies from case to case, but when somebody has decided that a relationship is over, he or she will hardly come back because of the tears of the dumped one. Being dumped is not nice (unless both parties had the same feeling that the relationship is exhausted and ending it is to mutual benefit) but living in an imaginary world is not the way to get out of the situation.
There are many attractive guys and girls out there and there is no use to cry over spilled milk. Instead, placing an ex in the past and looking ahead is the way to go. It is bad when past love affairs interfere with the present. The best one can do is to forget his or her ex-lovers and look ahead.
Life is Not a Bed of Roses
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