Are You Emotionally Ready To Love?
Limits Keeping You From a Healthy Relationship
Are you really ready for a relationship? These hints will tell you if you need a little "emotional spring cleaning."
When folks remain single for a long time, sometimes they inadvertently put up barriers to their feelings. Without even realizing it, they push (or run!) away from relationships, only to wonder later if there is anyone in the world who will ever be right for them.
If this sounds like you, take heart. It doesn’t mean you’re relationship-challenged, or even that you’re un-dateable. If you can’t seem to get a date, or worse, can’t connect with anyone you meet, it may be time to do a little “love inventory.” Often looking at your dating behavior from a different perspective will help you change your actions for the better.
See if these signs of emotional un-readiness describe you.
Sign: You’re Stuck On an Old Flame
You date people, but they never seem to measure up to the ex. You look back fondly at the times you shared, and your heart aches just to hear their voice or see them again.
- New outlook: If you were meant to be with them, you would be. Note the distinction: You would be – not WILL be. It won’t ever work out the former flame because you weren’t meant to be with them. When you hold on to a fantasy, like pining for an ex, you are keeping every other terrific person from entering your life. You’re grasping an ideal that doesn’t really exist. Do yourself a favor; let go of the memory. Proceed with the knowledge that something much better will be there to replace it if you only let it.
Sign: You’re Desperate To Be Married
You are tired of being single and want to get married! You want children! You love hanging around married people and can’t wait to start your own family. Now!
- New outlook: Being single has its moments of greatness, and can also be lonely at times. This is especially true if all your friends are married and you’re constantly looking at things from their viewpoint. However, it definitely doesn’t mean you should rush a relationship that isn’t ready to be kicked up a notch. Moreover, if you try and move things along too fast your partner may just bolt – even if they want the same thing as you. Instead of thinking how much you want to get married, think of whom you might want to spend the rest of your life with. Focus on finding the right one for you. The rest will follow.
Sign: You’ve Got Bad Self-Esteem
You’ve dated some really great people, but you wonder what they see in you. Sure, you want a relationship, but you believe you have so many flaws you need to work on first that only then will someone really be able to love you.
- New outlook: People are flawed. Every one of them. It doesn’t stop them from finding someone who will love them for the exact person they are. By all means, keep improving yourself: be healthy, forgive your past, improve your education. But don’t put off finding someone until you’re perfect. You won’t ever be perfect – and neither will your partner. The right person, however, will accept you for who you are while also bringing out the best in you.
Sign: You’re Jaded
No one, it seems, has been single longer than you. You’ve dated everyone in the city and then some. You’ve been out with each one of your friend’s acquaintances, coworkers, and former flames. You’ve tried online dating, lunch dating, speed dating… and still can’t seem to meet the right one.
- New outlook: Stop comparing your life to anyone else’s. Don’t ask why you haven’t met someone yet – believe that you will. Don’t doubt. Spend less time with the married folk and more time finding people exactly like you. Join a singles group in order to meet friends. You know all those couples that seem miserable? They settled. You didn’t. And you’ll be rewarded for it.
