Conversation Starters for Men Meeting Women
Experts Agree that Genuine Interest is the Best Way to Meet People
Mar 17, 2009
“Hey baby, what's your sign?" is so 1975. Worse yet, it doesn’t work. Try a non-cheesy pickup line instead; approaching strangers is easier than it seems.
"Pick-Up Lines that Should NOT be Used"
If one (or more) of these “lines” seems like a good idea, think again.
- What’s your sign?
- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
- Your place or mine?
- What you gonna do with all that ___ in your jeans?
- I have a huge...apartment...would you like to see?
- Are you a model?
- All those curves and me with no brakes…
Expert Conversation Starters that Work
eHarmony is an online matchmaking site backed up by the knowledge and experience of psychiatrists and psychologists. Professionals work there and it matters; clients get real results. The staff at eHarmony has a lot of advice for men on the subject of approaching women.
Remember that the goal isn’t to deliver a “line.” That usually strikes out. Keep actual “lines” to a minimum. Instead, make an effort to be spontaneous and respectful. It can be difficult to think quickly in an individual setting, so have a few basic starters ready at all times. The following ideas are all eHarmony approved.
Are you Mary Jane?
Shared history makes approaching someone very easy. If it doesn’t exist, simply pretend that it does. Pick a name, approach the person of interest, and ask her, “Excuse me, but are you Mary Jane (or insert another name here)?” When she gives a reply, try to read whether she’s interested.
When she gives her reply, it’s up to you to try and read whether she looks annoyed that you interrupted her or whether she seems open to more communication. If the opportunity presents itself, follow up with, “Wow, you look just like someone I work with,” or “Wow, you look just like a girl from my math class.”
Don’t I Know You From the Fitness Club?
Assuming familiarity is a perfect, nonthreatening way to approach someone, and if you base a question in reality, following up on it is simple. Use the topic as a hook to keep the conversation going. If pastimes aren’t appropriate, ask her if she’s been to a specific place, seen a particular movie, or visited a museum lately. Make sure to pick something that’s familiar so that the conversation keeps flowing.
Those are Stunning Earrings. Where Did You Get Them?
Most pickup lines are too generic and can clearly be directed at anyone. So to start up some dialogue, ask the woman about something specific to her. This could be her hair color, coat, jewelry, etc. Commenting on something directly related to her lets her know that she’s not a victim of a random pick-up line barrage. Instead, she’ll feel very flattered and “tuned into.”
Is that a Good Book?
Props make for wonderful chit-chat. Pets famously bring people together. If she’s reading a book, ask her if she’s read anything by a favorite writer. If she’s listening to her iPod, it’s an opportunity to ask a music question.
Let Me Buy You a Drink?
Some good old standbys do work. “Can I buy you a drink?” or “Hi, my name is…” may not be clever, but they are direct and genuine. Be polite and always take no for an answer.
All’s Well that Ends Well
Rejection hurts, but it only hurts pride. The worst that can happen is the woman isn’t interested; if she’s not interested, be a gentleman and walk away. However, the best is always a possibility, and that’s enough motivation for most men.
 |
