Dating Abuse

Emotional Control and Physical Violence in Relationships

© Cherie Burbach

Mar 12, 2008
Dating Abuse Can Be Emotional as Well as Physical, Morguefile
Are you in an abusive partnership? Would you know if you were?

Romantic relationships should be about love, kindness, and respect. In short, you should feel good about yourself when you are with your mate. If you don’t, there could be a problem.

Emotional and Physical Abuse

Abuse can take emotional forms as well as physical. It is not appropriate for your partner to hit or slap you. If that happens, you need to let him or her know that you will not accept violence in your life. If he reacts badly, move on to someone that will treat you with the dignity all humans deserve.

Even if your partner hasn’t harmed you physically, pay close attention to the way he or she makes you feel. A romantic partnership means that you have someone in your life to support your emotional well-being and has your interests at heart. An individual that calls you names or belittles you constantly does not give you this type of encouragement. Someone that scares or threatens you in any way is an individual to avoid.

Teen Dating Abuse

Teens are especially vulnerable to dating abuse. According to Love Is Respect, a national teen dating abuse organization, a 2006 study showed that “alarming numbers of teens experience and accept abusive behavior in dating relationships.” That includes physical, sexual, and emotional violence.

The study went on to conclude “one in five teens that have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.” The study showed more than just physical violence. A quarter of the respondents surveyed said their partner pressured them from spending time with friends or family” in favor of seeing only their partner. This type of emotional control is abuse.

Signs of Abuse

Daters of all ages today can fall into the trap of loneliness and feeling that they might not find true love. A history of failed relationships can push men and women into situations with any individual who will spend time with them. The result can sometimes be a relinquishing of control in regards to seeing friends, family, or even engaging in hobbies. Anything the dater once found enjoyable is given up with the pressure of his or her new partner.

Excessive contact through email, text, or phone is yet another sign of emotional abuse. A partner that is paranoid about who you are seeing and when you will next spend time with him or her is someone to watch out for.

Remember that before someone can be a part of your life, he must first prove he is worthy of your love and companionship. Any action that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened should be given special consideration. Don’t ever sell yourself short or believe you deserve abusive behavior of any type.


The copyright of the article Dating Abuse in Dating Advice is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish Dating Abuse in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.


Dating Abuse Can Be Emotional as Well as Physical, Morguefile
       


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Comments
Nov 19, 2008 4:10 PM
Guest :
i am a 16yr old dat is datin in violence. he dont really hit me bt wen he does it hurts. but he does emotionally abuse me everyday. he makes me feel ugly n like i do not exist. i luv him bt idk why! i dnt think its luv. mayb its attached. i hav been with him for 3 yrs. i am scare to leave him. i really want him to change.
Jan 18, 2009 3:51 PM
Guest :
I JUST WENT THROUGH THAT RECENTLY I FINALLY GOT TIRED OF THE VERBAL ABUSE. HE DIDNT WANT ME OING ANYTHING, NO PHONE I LOST ALL MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF HIM. HE SWORE TO ME THAT HE WOULD NEVER LAY A HAND ON ME UNTILL THE OTHER NIGHT. HE CAME INTO MY HOUSE AND THREW ME ACROSS THE HOUSE AND FINALLY IN THE END HE CHOKED ME I ALMOST DIED. IF IT WASENT FOR HIM LETTING GO I WOULDNT BE HERE RIGHT NOW. IT WAS GOING TO BE 4 YEARS WITH HIM. HE TOLD ME I WAS HIS WORLD.

THE BEST ADVISE I CAN GIVE YOU, GO TO YOUR LOCAL GOVERMENT CENTER PLACE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM AND LEAVE. ABUSE IS SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY UNTILL YOU GET THE STRENGTH TO LEAVE. SO THE BEST THING FOR YOU IS NOT TO THINK ABOUT HIM AND WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIM BECAUSE FOR THIS WHOLE TIME HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOU. ITS NOT LOVE...ITS CONTROL! DONT LET A MONSTER GET THE BEST OF YOU!
2 Comments