When Democrats and Republicans Date
Is it Possible to Love Someone Whose Politics You Hate?
Jan 23, 2009
It's a big family dinner, and the outspokenly feminist daughter brings home a smart, polite, handsome man… who happens to be a Republican. Is this relationship doomed from the start, or can they make it work? When it comes to dating and politics, the lines are often fiercely drawn, but they can be crossed if both partners have patience, respect for one another, and open minds.
Politics and Values
It's true that politics are often connected to core beliefs. If the state of the economy and international policy are important to a woman, she's likely to vote conservative. If equality, women's lib and labor rights are at the top of his priority list, on the other hand, a man probably votes for the left.
But within those political leanings, there is still a great deal of variety. Someone who is fiscally conservative might in other ways support the liberal perspective.
Despite certain core values, it's impossible to paint every person who leans in a given political direction with the same brush. Not every liberal is a broke feminist with a solar-powered home off the grid – and by no means are all conservatives racist, anti-gay bigots who drive gas-guzzling SUVs.
Dating Outside Your Political Comfort Zone – The Risks
Most people won't ever date far outside their political belief system – it's just too risky. Some of the problems associated with dating someone whose politics are vastly different include:
- polarizing (taking opposite stances) in arguments related to politics, men's/women's roles, lifestyle choices and more
- difficulty respecting one's partner for the different beliefs they hold
- disagreements over key life choices and values
- arguments over how to raise children, establish a household, and more
Dating Outside Your Political Comfort Zone – The Rewards
As with any challenge, dating someone with different political beliefs can be vastly rewarding. It can:
- provide endless discussion and debate of personal beliefs
- expose you to people from different cultures and social groups
- encourage you to question your own beliefs and teach you to explain them persuasively
- keep your mind open by exposing you to new ideas and rationales
- help your relationship stay energized and dynamic over time
How to Date Someone with Different Politics and Make It Work
Ultimately, the issue boils down to whether or not two people can respect one another despite their different opinions. This is central in any relationship – but for those whose political beliefs differ, the ability to respect one another is really a make-or-break issue in the relationship.
Dating a person with different political leanings is kind of like dating someone from a different religion – the good can outweigh the bad if and only if the pair are a good match in other ways and are able to put aside their differences more often than not and enjoy being together.
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