First Date Conversations to Avoid
Things Not to Say the First Time You Meet Someone New
When you are about to meet someone for the first time, avoid these conversation topics.
A first date can be difficult enough. You're nervous, your date is anxious, and all the two of you want to do is determine if you're right for each other. Sounds simple enough, but as many singles admit, starting off on the right foot with your date can be tricky.
Eventually when you're in a committed relationship, you will likely talk about many heated topics and respect each others opinions enough that discussing opposing viewpoints won't cause a riff in your partnership. But when you're about to meet someone for the first time, avoid these conversation topics:
Politics
- Talk in general terms about political or news items. Remember, meeting a potential love interest for the first time should be a happy social occasion, not an opportunity to debate. There is a time and a place to talk about hot button issues, but a first date is not one of them.
Ex's
- It's natural when you meet someone new to talk about other people you've dated. But avoid this topic, as it will only serve to take attention away from the person currently sitting in front of you. Even if you mean to compliment your date, don't use an ex as a way to accomplish this. (Example: "You are so much prettier than my ex-girlfriend!" or "My old boyfriend would have never opened the door for me.") Mentioning an old flame is like inviting them out on your date, and we all know that's a bad idea.
Sex
- You may want to find out what your date’s opinions are on the subject of intercourse, but the first date is not the time to bring it up. Doing so will only make you sound either desperate or prudish. You’ll know by the end of the date whether there is chemistry enough for you to continue on to a second date, and that’s all you should be focusing on in terms of physical attraction.
The Future
- Asking about how many kids your date might want or how soon they plan on getting married when you’ve only just met them is a surefire way to come across as desperate. You may be curious about your date’s opinions on the future, but it’s wise to keep these types of questions to yourself until you’ve gone out at least a few times.
Religion
- People generally feel very strongly about their religious views, and unless you understand someone’s motivation, a heated discussion can quickly seem like an argument. Your faith is going to be a big part of your relationship if the two of you get serious. However, a first date is not the venue to bring it up.
Medical Problems
- We’ve all got issues, medical and otherwise. As inspiring as it may be that you deal with a multitude of health issues, talking about them on a first date will give the situation a decidedly negative atmosphere.
Your lousy day at work
- Talk about your job in general terms. Don’t bore your date with the inner workings of your office particular brand of backstabbing and unfair behavior. Doing so will make you appear as if you have nothing else going on in your life.
Celebrity gossip
- News items are perfectly acceptable to talk about. Celebrities and their love lives are not. Talk about your hobbies instead. If celebrities’ love lives ARE a hobby, talk about a different hobby. Talking about the lives of people you don’t know can make you seem out of touch with the real world.
Money
- Never ask a date how much they make, how much debt they’re in, or if they’ve ever filed bankruptcy. Remember, you are getting to know someone in a socially fun way, not doing a heavy background search on him or her.
Your most outrageous moments
- Maybe there was the time you got arrested, the time you got drunk at the office holiday party, or the time you accidentally fell down a bunch of stairs after running naked through the hotel lobby. Even if you fully embrace your embarrassing, stupid, or ridiculous moments, don’t use them as anecdotes on a first date. As you and your date become serious, you will naturally share this type of information with each other, but on a first date a better option is to keep the conversation light and fun while at the same time asking questions that will allow you to really get to know someone.
The copyright of the article First Date Conversations to Avoid in Dating Advice is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish First Date Conversations to Avoid must be granted by the author in writing.
