First dates can be a breeze if you know what to do... and what to avoid.
The thing about first dates is… you have to endure them in order to have a second date (and a third… and so on.) First dates can be awkward or terrific, nerve-racking or sublime. But whether you're meeting someone you've only chatted with online, or hooking up with a blind date, first dates can be exciting and fun if you follow these pointers.
Do:
- Choose a place you both are comfortable and familiar with. If one of you is fighting traffic or worse, lost, you're bound to have unnecessary tension before you even arrive. Likewise if you pick a spot where you or your date might feel uncomfortable.
Don't:
- Be inflexible with your plans. You might have an idea of what you'd like to do, but be respectful of your date's wishes. Remember that where you actually meet isn’t as important as the time you’ll be spending together. Focus on just getting to know your date, not on hanging out at your favorite place.
Do:
- Be on time. You may feel it’s better to be a few minutes late so you don’t feel silly waiting for your date, but that just means your date will be waiting for you. Treat your date as an important meeting so you’re sure to show him or her the respect they deserve. Plan ahead, leave early, and account for any possible delays in traffic.
Don't:
- Dress inappropriately. Aim for business casual attire. No sweats. Nothing frumpy. Nothing too provocative or low-cut. Go easy on the makeup, and make sure your hair is properly groomed. First impressions count on a date, and physical appearance counts as much as personality. You may not mind your girlfriend or boyfriend dressing sloppy after you’ve gone out with them a while, but for a first date make sure you’re presenting the best possibly image you can.
Do:
- Smile and give eye contact when greeting your date. This may sound like a simple point, but too often daters are nervous or in a hurry, and don’t focus immediately upon the person who has taken time out of their day to simply meet them. Show your date you appreciate their effort, look at them and say hello when you arrive, rather than looking around for a table (or an escape!)
Don't:
- Answer cell phone calls. It’s rude on a first date for your cell phone to even ring. The best bet is to turn your phone off, or set it to mute. Remember, your first date is only going to be about an hour and you should be able to live without looking to see if someone has called you. If you must keep your phone on, let any calls you receive go through to voice mail, and bring the focus immediately back to your date.
Do:
- Ask meaningful questions that will give you a glimpse into your date's personality. Listen to your date and provide input into your conversations. The first date is generally an audition for further meetings, so use it to your advantage by trying to find out as much information about your date as possible. You don’t need their life history, but what you do need is to get a sense if this person is someone you’ll want to see again.
Don't:
- Monopolize the conversation. Ask questions to give your date a chance to talk so you can both find out about each other. While you are trying to get to know your date, you aren’t there to drill them for every detail of their life.
Do:
- Set a time limit on the date in advance. This will ease any stress in trying to end the date and allow you to go home and reflect on it to better decide if you'd like a second meeting.
The copyright of the article First Date Do's and Don'ts in Dating Advice is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish First Date Do's and Don'ts in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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Dec 11, 2008 11:16 AM
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Apr 12, 2009 9:32 PM
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