Ending a relationship is a difficult decision. If you're thinking of breaking up with someone, here are some tips to help you out.
1. Do it yourself. In person. Don’t text them, email them, tell them over the phone, or even have a friend do it for you. Give your soon-to-be ex the respect they deserve in hearing the words from your mouth and in seeing you tell them in person.
2. Pick an appropriate place to break up. Choose a place where your partner will be able to get emotional or ask questions. You owe them the opportunity to talk to you about why you’re letting them go.
3. Allow enough time for your partner to process the information. Remember, you’ve known for some time that you were going to break up, but it might take a few minutes for your partner to be okay with the news. Don’t just tell them you’re ending it, and then get up and leave. Allow a few moments for the news to sink in, and then ask them if they have any questions.
4. Be respectful. No matter how you feel right now, remember that there was something about this person that drew you to them. Don’t diminish their character or become verbally abusive.
5. State your reasons for breaking up in a straightforward but thoughtful manner. Even if this person has hurt you, don’t say purposefully mean things to get back at them.
6. Don’t suggest you two can remain friends if you have no intention of doing so. Using this line is a cop out and will only serve to give your partner false hope.
7. Wish them the best, and mean it. It can be a scary thing to break up with someone who isn’t right for you. Trust that you are doing the right thing for you and your partner.
8. Don’t play emotional games after the break up. It’s natural to be lonely in the days immediately following a break up, but don’t use that as an excuse to call up your ex and toy with the idea of getting back together. Doing so will only cause confusion and pain for both of you.
9. Give your ex some space. It’s natural to be curious about how your ex is doing. It’s also possible that you’ll want to make yourself feel better by hanging out with someone you know is still into you, but doing so is immature and will only serve to hinder you in moving forward. Avoid hanging out at the places you know your ex will be until you’ve given the break up some time to absorb. Don’t keep showing up in places where you know your ex will be just because you’re bored or because seeing them gives you an emotional high.
10. Stick with your decision. Your ex may take the break up in stride at first, but then call or email you begging for a second chance. Remember that you are breaking up with them for a reason, so don’t second-guess yourself. If you receive a call or email from your ex, tell them politely once that you will always care for them but your relationship is over.
