How to make your relationship fall apart before it even begins.
You’ve just met someone and the two of you have completely hit it off. Things are clicking, you seem to have a lot in common, and each date brings you closer together. But just as it seems as if your search for the perfect mate is over, your new relationship crumbles.
So what happened? See if you’ve committed any of these acts of sabotage and you might have the answer:
You Interview Your Date, Instead of Getting to Know Them
- It’s important to ask questions that will allow you and your new partner to get to know each other, but rattle off too many at once and you might sound as if you’re interrogating them. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun! Don’t act as if you are on a time schedule when it comes to meeting your soul mate. Take your time to enjoy the person you’ve just met, and let things happen naturally. That includes allowing conversations to develop in their own time. You’ll know soon enough whether the person you’re with is right for you. For now, just enjoy your time together.
You Ask For a Definition of Your Relationship
- Every relationship evolves differently. Some people hit it off quickly, and some take a bit longer. When you’ve just started dating someone, resist the urge to ask where things are going. Let’s put it this way, if you need to ask, then you two probably aren’t aiming for the same direction. Instead of adding tension to your new relationship by constantly wondering if you two are steady boyfriend and girlfriend or heading towards marriage, just enjoy the person you’re with. Definitions belong in the dictionary, not in a relationship.
You Want to Change Your Partner
- When you fall in love with someone, you accept them for what they are. Good habits and bad. It doesn’t mean you love absolutely every word they say or every move they make. Instead, you love them for the complete package. You support them in their desires and encourage them to be the best person they can be. But you don’t make a list of things to change about them. You can’t. And you shouldn’t. Love isn’t like that. So if you’re wishing your mate had different friends, a less chaotic family, or a different career, maybe you aren’t with the right person.
You’re Too Busy
- New relationships are exciting and take some time to develop. So give them your full attention. If you constantly have work on your mind, determine if you’re a workaholic or are just going through a particularly busy time. Be sure to let your date know that you are willing to give them your full attention, and if you’ve been distracted be sure to apologize. If you look at dating as an interruption to your world, you’re never going to be able to really get to know your partner.
You’re Not Over An Ex
- Like any loss, there is a grieving process involved with a break up. If you haven’t allowed yourself time to move beyond your previous relationship you shouldn’t jump into anything new as it will only cause hurt feelings with your new partner. What’s worse, you may be missing out on how great that new person is because you are comparing them to your old flame. Only when you’re sure you can be emotionally ready for a new partnership will you truly succeed in love.
You Have a Bad Attitude
- Sure you’ve been burned by love. Who hasn’t? But bringing your negativity into a new relationship is a sure way to end it before it even begins. Complaining about the opposite sex or going into detail about how you’ve been hurt will only take attention away from your new partner. Lamenting about your inability to find love is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The copyright of the article How to Sabotage a New Relationship in Dating Advice is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish How to Sabotage a New Relationship must be granted by the author in writing.
