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How to Start Up a Conversation

Approaching Someone New for a Date

Mar 16, 2008 Cherie Burbach

Even with all the great methods in which to meet new singles, there are still times when approaching someone you've only just met is best way to get a date.

Talking to a person you don’t yet know can be an intimidating prospect. Here are some tips to help you spark a new conversation with a stranger.

Smile

While you may be nervous about walking up to a stranger, be sure to smile and offer a friendly face. Look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. If someone were to approach you with a frown or even neutral expression, you would probably brace yourself for what they had to say, rather than listen with interest. Show the person you mean to make light and friendly conversation.

Comment on Something Going On Around You

If you’re stumped for what to say at first, offer a remark about the atmosphere around you. The long line you’re both in, the cold weather outside, the couple arguing in the corner, or the loud music in the background are among many things you could mention to start off your conversation. Starting this way will ease the pressure of an attempt to be clever or even asking the person out.

Compliment Him or Her

You must have noticed something about the person to get you interested, so use that as an opener. Did they just say something humorous? Do they have a nice smile? Are they wearing a great-smelling perfume or cologne?

Be Sincere

Don’t seek to flatter the person so much that you go overboard. Also, unless you’re naturally funny, don’t worry about cracking a joke. As difficult as it can be, remain true to yourself. If you’re a little nervous, don’t give it a second thought.

Be Specific When Making a Suggestion to Meet

Ideally the reason you talk to a stranger to begin with is because you want to connect with him or her later on date. But instead of saying “Would you go out with me” ask them instead to do something specific. If you’ve only just met, you can’t speak in generalities, such as “We should hang out sometime.”

Have something specific in mind even if it’s just grabbing a cup of coffee in half an hour at the restaurant around the corner or going with you to the latest theater opening on Friday at 7:00. By mentioning a precise plan you will have greater success of following through with your date.

Get the Right Mindset

The biggest obstacle in talking to someone new is the fear that he or she will reject you. While this is certainly a possibility, it doesn’t have to paralyze you from making an approach. Instead of thinking of what could go wrong, envision yourself chatting up the object of your interest and having them receive you with enthusiasm. Move forward with a confident air, and put any thoughts of rejection out of our mind.

You’ll only feel bad for a few moments if you get rejected, but if you fail to act you’ll regret it for a long time. The only way to change your situation is by taking action. So say hello to that stranger that’s just caught your eye! You’ll never know where it might lead.

The copyright of the article How to Start Up a Conversation in Dating is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish How to Start Up a Conversation in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
Apporach Someone New With Confidence, Morguefile Apporach Someone New With Confidence
A Smile Goes a Long Way When You Meet Someone New, Morguefile A Smile Goes a Long Way When You Meet Someone New
A Suggestion to Meet for Coffee Is a Great Opener, Morguefile A Suggestion to Meet for Coffee Is a Great Opener
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Apr 22, 2009 7:55 AM
Guest :
Those are good thoughts...hopefully I can manage it...just one thing I'd like to ask maybe anyone from the globe can answer this...

I admire this girl and we just met, and I do really like her beauty, I am so afraid that I will be rejected by her, though i didn't really intend to think about it, it just came into my mind.

Now the big issue is, every time I have this feeling, deep inside I get hurt I don't know why! anyone has an idea it would be much appreciated a thought can help me change my self. Maybe I can't have her but at least I can change my style and my future life ^_^....
May 15, 2009 8:23 PM
Guest :
I'm the same way you are and i'm trying to figure it out as well i wish us noth luck/
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