Keeping Conversation Natural While Flirting
Get Noticed by Being Yourself and Appearing Natural
Dec 11, 2008
People who are visibly nervous while flirting won’t get the same results as those who appear easy-going and confident. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t always killer looks that create boldness in meeting new people. Here are a few tips for being a person who can flirt and look good doing it.
Flirt by Asking Questions
Probably the best way a person can appear comfortable while flirting is taking the focus off himself. A good way to do this is asking insightful questions and making connections based on the answers.
People who want to be the most successful will make sure the questions they ask are on topics the other person will have fun discussing. Finding these topics amounts to a little detective work. If someone’s walking a dog, a conversation about pets is bound to go well. If someone’s carrying a guitar case, she's obviously interested in music and might enjoy discussing favorite bands. If no clues are readily available, an open ended question about hobbies or interests such as, “So, what do you like to do for fun?” is a good idea.
Confidence in Flirting Isn’t Based on Looks
Anyone who says looks have nothing to do with successful flirting isn’t considering the whole picture. But the issue isn’t how other people think someone looks. The determining factor is how that person feels about himself as a package, looks included. When it comes down to it, flirting is selling the whole package, if people don’t like what they’re selling, how can they expect anyone else to?
Everyone has features he can be proud of. Once he feels comfortable with the idea that he is special, he’ll exude that appealing quality of being just a little unattainable. There’s nothing more attractive than a person who is genuinely friendly while flirting, but just slightly out of reach.
While Flirting, a Sense of Humor Helps
Getting someone to smile or even laugh is one of the major signs that flirting is working. A sense of humor is a little like good looks. A person who knows that what he's saying is intelligent and funny is likely to be seen as a person with a good sense of humor. But a person who feels unsure of himself, is likely to appear unconfident and nervous in conversation.
Having a few canned jokes isn’t going to cure the problem. Actually, the best idea is to practice conversation in comfortable settings such as with family and friends. People can try their hand at recounting a funny story from work or following someone’s comment with a witty response. In comfortable settings, they won’t mind the occasional groan or eye rolling too much. Best of all, practice in humorous storytelling or quick-witted responses will improve timing and that all important relaxed quality that’s so vital to a good sense of humor.
Many people think they have a great sense of humor, but most of their material is based on sarcasm or friendly jabs. While this style can work out well between some, it probably isn’t the best idea for early flirting. Responding to sarcasm or jabs from an unfamiliar person can be disconcerting, and the goal in flirting is obviously to make the other person feel as comfortable as possible.
For more advice, readers might want to check out tips on how to flirt without looking like a flirt, and how to be confident enough to make the first move.
