Stick It Out or Move On?
Common Situations Where Love Is at a Crossroads
Confusing relationship scenarios and how to get beyond them.
Shakespeare said, “The course of true love never did run smooth,” [A Midsummer Night’s Dream, 1595] and that still holds true today. Sometimes the road to love can be unclear and confusing. Many singles wonder if they should stick it out during a rough time, or move on to a relationship more suited to them. Here are a few common love problems, and how they should be handled.
The Girl That’s Just a Friend
Love Problem #1: You find out your boyfriend has been talking to another girl when he isn’t with you. When you ask him about it, he says she’s just a friend and nothing is going on. You tell him you’re uncomfortable with this, and he says you are being paranoid. Despite this, you suddenly feel as if you can’t trust him.
- The tendency in this situation is to doubt your feelings of mistrust. You might think since your boyfriend hasn’t slept with the girl, he isn’t doing anything wrong. But be wary of the guy that goes on the offensive the minute you express your concern with something he’s doing. If he says, “You’re being paranoid,” “You’re just jealous,” or “What I do on my own time is my business” he isn’t answering your question. Couples should be able to talk about things. If he refuses to discuss your concerns, move on to someone who knows how to be a good partner.
In a Holding Pattern
Love Problem #2: You’ve been with your girlfriend for four years, and you want to get married. She keeps putting you off, saying she’s not ready. Each time you bring it up, she says maybe you two should see other people. You’re still in the relationship but wonder when you’ll finally be able to walk down the aisle with her.
- When two people have dated a while it’s natural to discuss the next step. If you tell someone where you’d like the relationship to go, and they respond with a suggestion that you break up or take time apart, you have your answer. Never stay with someone that isn’t sure about you. If your partner asks for time apart, give it to them, and use that time to find someone who has the same life goals as you do.
The Reappearing Ex
Love Problem #3: You’ve dated your girlfriend for almost a year, and you thought things were going great. Suddenly she tells you she wants out of the relationship. When you ask why she just says, “It isn’t working out.” It takes you a month to stop thinking about her constantly, and another two before you’re ready to date again. Just when you’ve found a new girl you like, she shows up at your door and wants a second chance. Seeing her again brings back all the old feelings of love you had. What should you do?
- The problem in this situation is that she never told you exactly why she left in the first place. Was she bored? Did she meet someone new? Before you can reconcile, she needs to give you a few answers. You should also be circumspect about her timing. Some folks fall into the “I don’t want him but don’t want anyone else to have him either” routine. When she realized you were over her, it was a blow to her ego. The best plan is to move ahead, so if there is someone new you’ve started dating, stay with her. Tell the ex that she was right; things weren’t working out between you two. When a relationship isn’t right, it must be wrong.
