On Again/Off Again Couples

Is Dating and Breaking Up Repeatedly a Positive Thing?

© Cherie Burbach

Oct 3, 2007

The road to love is sometimes a rough and rocky one. Ask any couple that has broken up and then tried to get back together. But what if a couple continually fights and makes up? Does it mean you’re meant to keep going? Or bag the relationship all together? If you’re in a relationship and can’t honestly say whether you’ll be together tomorrow or apart, ask yourself these questions.

Relationship Beginnings?

• Sometimes the key to figuring out the fate of your partnership lies in its origin. What were the circumstances in which the two of you first hooked up? Was one of you in a relationship already? Or not quite over a past flame? There’s a lesson to be learned each time a relationship ends. Sometimes people repeatedly end up with people that are not right for them because they continue to make the same mistakes.

Expectations?

• If one of you wants to get serious, while the other just wants to keep things casual, it can cause of series of arguments and negativity. Sometimes one person will stay in a relationship thinking that eventually the other person will change their mind. When that doesn’t happen, it can cause continual fighting and disappointment. When two people aren’t on the same page from the start an undercurrent of resentment can eat away at a couple’s happiness.

Time Apart?

• If you’ve broken up several times, did you get back together within a week? A month? Did you get back together so fast you really didn't have time to get upset? Couples that share a long history are sometimes hesitant to start over with someone new. While it’s true that break ups can be difficult, they can also feel freeing and welcome. But only through spending an adequate time apart will couples be able to reflect on their relationship and grow from it. If you get back together quickly chances are you never worked out the real reason you broke up to begin with.

Repeated Issue?

• Was your partner unfaithful? Do you always have to have your way? Have either of you had an emotional or cyber affair? If there is a reoccurring issue that continues to drive you both apart, you need to recognize that the relationship will never survive until it is resolved. Things don’t change on their own. If neither of you is willing to mend your ways, it might be time to give each other the chance to start over with someone more suited to them.

On Again/Off Again Couples Are Always in Turmoil

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