Suddenly... you feel it. You're in love! Now what to do? Do you just blurt it out? Wait for your partner to say it first? What's the best strategy?
The first moment when you realize you’ve met “the one” can be filled with excitement… and sometimes, dread. After all, you don’t want to come off too eager and just blurt out those three little words. Or do you?
If you’re feeling confused about how to tell someone you love them, you’re not alone. Confessing your true feelings too soon in a relationship could scare your partner away if their feelings aren’t quite on the same level yet. But if you both are waiting for the other to say it, each of you is probably wondering where you stand in the relationship.
These types of quandaries can make love seem more complicated than it needs to be. Not to worry, because we’ve got some tips to help make saying “I love you,” a positive experience for all involved. Consider these before you say those three little words.
Gage your experience level:
- It’s accurate that love can happen at any age, but true feelings of love have a sweet level of maturity to them. It isn’t just about hot and heavy attraction. It isn’t about lust. It isn’t obsessing about your partner to the point where you can’t function. Lasting, true love happens in bits, slowly and surely until you finally realize “this is the one.” It doesn’t take forever to develop, but it also doesn’t occur at first sight or when you’re thirteen either.
Take a look at your relationship:
- Are you in a good place within your partnership? In other words, do both of you want the relationship to move forward at about the same pace? Couples that aren’t on the same page in the beginning of a relationship tend to struggle throughout. If one of you falls in love early on while the other doesn’t, it could signal trouble down the road in the form of unrealized expectations. If one of you wants marriage and babies within a year while the other thinks you need to take some time to just be together, you need to work this out before you move forward. Saying “I love you” too fast will only add to the stress in this situation. So take an objective look at you and your partner. Be honest in your assessment to conclude if you both seem to want the same things.
Don’t over think the setup:
- When you’ve taken time to consider your feelings and are sure about them, the next step is to just say, “I love you.” Remember that how you say it and where isn’t as important as being sincere in your expression. So don’t waste time trying to think of a clever way to say it. After all, it’s the most simple and genuine expressions that make a lasting impression.
Say it:
- Finally, tell your partner how you feel. Even though romantic gestures are always appreciated, don’t overcomplicate the moment by writing your feelings out in a card or hiring a skywriter! Instead, look your mate in the eye and tell them “I love you.” Do it with confidence and authenticity. Even though it’s likely your partner will respond in kind, don’t place any pressure on them if they don’t respond back immediately. Sometimes being in love is a great surprise to people, and they need time to absorb it. Let the moment happen as it will. Saying, “I love you” the first time is one of the great pleasures of life. Enjoy it!
