Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating

Defensive Behavior, Nagging Feelings, a Cheating Past and More

May 18, 2007 Cherie Burbach

If you're wondering about your partner's extracurricular activities, here are five signs that he or she may be cheating.

Infidelity can be one of the most heartbreaking things to deal with in life. Not just the affair but also the betrayal of trust. Often, it’s difficult to come to the realization that your partner has strayed. Take note of these indications if you suspect your parnter of infidelity:

1) Your partner is acting differently towards you

One of the first signs of trouble in a relationship is when your partner suddenly treats you with extra affection, or starts to ignore you completely. Any change in behavior is suspect, because it implies a change in life experience. If your partner hasn’t changed anything about his or her life that you know of, and yet seems to suddenly behave differently toward you, try to find out why. While you don’t want to come off immediately accusing your partner, you do want to find out possible reasons for their change in personality.

2) Your partner becomes angry or defensive if questioned

It’s said the best defense is a good offense, so if your partner refuses to answer your questions it may be a product of their guilt in deceiving you. If you ask your partner a simple question and they immediately blow up into a rage about your “nagging,” it could be a sign that they’ve got something to hide. Remember, always approach your partner gently when asking about their life or whereabouts and don’t just accuse. There could be a valid explanation for their missing dinner or coming home late from the office. Still, in a respectful relationship people communicate with each other, so if there’s an area your partner refuses to talk about it could be a sign that they are ashamed or embarrassed at their infidelity.

3) New people begin to surface

Letters, emails, or phone calls from people you haven’t heard your partner mention before begin to invade your home. Couples don’t need to share the same friends, but they are often aware of each other’s acquaintances. So if someone new happens to call and your partner refuses to really tell you who he or she is, it may be a sign that a new relationship has begun behind your back.

4) Your partner has cheated in the past

Couples have a right to know whether their partner has been unfaithful with their current relationship, or a past one. Discuss infidelity with your partner so you know that you are both on the same page when it comes to dealing with the subject. It's true that if someone has been unfaithful in the past, they may do it again. A propensity to cheat, no matter the circumstances, is sign that an individual may use infidelity as a way to avoid dealing with issues directly. It should be noted that if your partner is not showing any of the other signs mentioned here, however, you shouldn’t automatically assume they are cheating just because they’ve done it in the past.

5) You have a nagging feeling that won't go away

Trust your gut. Often it’s that first little feeling that calls your attention to the fact that something is wrong. Don’t accuse your partner until you know for sure he or she has been unfaithful. But if you’ve got a feeling, pay attention to it.

The copyright of the article Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating in Dating is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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Comments

Nov 29, 2008 2:40 PM

Guest :

hi there i have that gut feeling that my partner is still in love with his ex partner when he returns his children home to thier mum after having them on the weekends he tells me he wont be long but doesnt return home for ages what does that mean

Dec 16, 2008 8:37 AM

Guest :

maybe the kids don't let him leave in a hurry?

Dec 22, 2008 7:04 AM

Guest :

hi i have a gut that always tell me somethings not right about my relationship

Jan 9, 2009 8:35 PM

Guest :

Hello, I'm sure that my better half is cheating because he's distant, work late, found scar on back and he said he got it from work, he wanted to change our sexual activities all of a sudden without question, always called me at work and said nothing, would ask how was work, he told me to stop asking such a questions after ten years of answering me, a song would come on the radio he went down membering lane then look at me like he was singing to me, had a strong gut feeling, told that i was crazy, tried to find ways to leave by starting arguments with me so i would say get out, never did and it made him mad, alone with adjusting the car seat, finding a purfume bottle in the car on my side, comming from work late stopping to washup and smelling like a purfume factory. Yet he said that i don't trust him and at the previous christmas party i went to the ladies room and when i caught up with him he was sitting down sweating on the forhead, i ask why i got the ha treatment. I WANT OUT!

Jan 19, 2009 4:57 AM

Guest :

I was in a 10 year relationship. He left me for two new girlfriends that he had been cheating with. We live close by to each other, it is not hard to find out about each other. The break up happen 4 years ago and he still continues sleeping with both women. I could be the third woman but I don't play his game. After the break up I learned about other cheatings during our relationship. Two of his previous divorces were caused by him cheating. I mentioned he could have a sexual addiction,he did not think so. If the two women with him are also sexual addicts, is it possible for them to be happy their situation?

Apr 8, 2009 11:06 PM

Guest :

my wife left out to take my daughter home and didn't come right back home.so i got in my car and tried to found out were she was.low and behold she drove right by me not knowing it was my car.so i rode behind her to see were she was going, and i looked inside the car and there was a man in the car with her.i flashed my lights to get her to stop and she took off like she stole something.she ran me off the road and i crashed my car and almost died. she keep saying that she's not cheating. what do i do?

May 18, 2009 5:15 AM

Guest :

My partner has cheated on me in the past and i have a bad feeling in my heart that she may be doing it again and i can't get over it. She gets really defensive when i ask her if she is and i asked her to marry me and yes she said yes but something tells me she is. What do i do?

May 20, 2009 9:12 PM

Guest :

Everyone is adding comments about thinking that there love one is cheating. But in my situation my spouse believes and is accusing me of cheating and that makes me feel horrible. It's sad to know that trust is an issue in my relationship I hate this feeling and Im sure that others feel the same. It feels really bad to be accused that I feel that we no longer have trust in our relationship, and with out it I don’t think a relationship will last. My opinion towards people that are accusing there partners is that to be careful because in my situation the gut feeling that my spouse has is not trust and due to it our relationship is really fragile.

Jun 28, 2009 11:30 PM

Guest :

there must be an open communication in a relationship to last, also ask yourself what have you done why does your partner cheated on you...

Jun 30, 2009 7:44 PM

Guest :

I have noticed in past relationships that girls get really mad at me for even talking to another girl, like i'm doing something wrong. I even had one girl accuse me of hitting on my 1st cousin who has a fiance', and come to find out she was cheating

Jul 12, 2009 1:31 AM

Guest :

I have this gut feeling that my partner is cheating on me. He always goes out with his guy friends and never lets me go and he is gone till 3 or 4 in the morning and when i call him he never answers the phone. Then he makes up excuses like the phone was on vibrate i didn't hear it. He is always on the phone and goes outside to talk. He is always on the computer and when i walk bye he closes the site he was on. I check the computer when he leaves and he has been on the singles websites. And when he goes to leave i ask him where he is going and all he says is i be back soon and won't tell me. So what do you guys think.

Jul 19, 2009 9:51 AM

Guest :

Many are complaining that their partners are cheating on them. I think these are all a mere suspicion since they can not prove this. They lack trust in their relationships and I am suggesting that they should try as much as possible to build trust for their partners. I am in relationship where my partner seemed not to trust me. Eventhough we are both still virgins after four years in relationship. I realy had to call my LOVE and sit her down and had to give reassurance about how much I still love her and cant afford having anything doing with anyone else. I tell you that I am really enjoying my relationship now with an absolute trust. It really hurts when accused falsely so please watch out on how you accuse your partners. It can lead to break ups.

Aug 23, 2009 2:26 AM

Guest :

im sik of excuses! we all know wen our partner has cheated!!.. i have been in th same relationship for almost 7yrs 2 chldrn later,and i am one of those idiots that hav stayed in the hope that he will change? his cheating has been on one nite stand occasions wen out all nite with his friends.. i have had nite where im like oh yeh and havnt suspected anything..and times where i hav known with the whole gut feelin and other minor giveaways!..to the one whos partner doesnt answer doesnt take you out with him, well sori but hes a "cheater" this is how it all started with mine! although i got over it and he has been faithfull for a good amount of time, i now hav a strong suspicision he has done it yet again!! its soo true wen you ask a subtle question and they go mad that they are hiding something! i can pick this out and the way he operates by knowing him and the signs he gives out! you will too, its a matter of whether you ignore it or reali do something about it..ie-leave! I wish i hadv done this the first time and i wudnt be here dwelling on my partners wkend away! filthy pig he is!! and shockin part is i love him? how or why i dont know? i do know i can do better, so why dont I?..Is it my kids? or is it that im afraid? a lil of both I guess, and the sad hope I had that he had finally changed! he is crazy on sex, and i guess wen you get a guy like this,you have to constantly fulfil the need!!or you end up like this..searching for answers on the internet! I feel that no one can or shud make judgement on any other as they are all unique! we can however support and offer our opinions negative or not each to they're own! my simple and obvious advise is A cheater never changes, and leav before you are in too deep!! Im am saddened that women and men have to go thru the heartache of this..

Sep 10, 2009 7:25 PM

Guest :

TRUST YOUR GUT!!!!! I had a feeling for a few months and no emotional connection anymore. My gut was right, he confessed to me 2 weeks ago. We have been married for 15 years and this is the first time in the 15 years that I had this "nagging" feeling and it was right! Good luck, cheaters are excellent liars!

Sep 14, 2009 10:54 PM

Guest :

I have this feeling my partner is cheating on me with my neighbor. I feel paranoid but know that it may be true. it is so weird. My intuition tells me he is cheating and I am stressing out. I dare not bring up my suspicion (which is haunting me btw) because if I am wrong. I have never felt this way.
Perhaps if it is too good to be true, then it aint for me. nevermind.
this sucks
aloha

Oct 16, 2009 8:47 AM

Guest :

ME AND MY GIRLFREIND LIVE APART FROM EACH OTHER FOR RIGHT NOW BUT I HOW DO I KNOW IF SHE TALKING TO SOME ONE ELSE BUT SHE'S SAYS SHES NOT

Oct 28, 2009 11:34 PM

Guest :

Well i know my man has cheated on me..We have been together for almost 4 1/2 yrs...And the last one he drug out for over a year...And says he is not goning to deal with her again..I believed it the 1st couple of times...But this time around i dont!...I want this to work out..But at the same time why am i putting myself through so much BS...I keep telling myself that i can get over him in a few months...But if i stay im going to hurt longer if things dont change..The girl he messed with lives 5 to 6 hours from here...So thats what bugs me the most...Why go out of your way to see someone so far away...I know im not getting any younger and this is all nuts to me why ppl do this to one another...If u want another woman or man whatever it maybe...Then dont be in a relashionship yanno...Go and do whatever you heart desires...And dont be with anybody so they wont get hurt!...As of right now im not really sure what im going to do...Im tired of giving him chances and he knows thats what i have done in the past...But i do have my breaking point to where i finally say enough is enough!!!

Nov 2, 2009 12:16 PM

Guest :

I honestly think that your "gut" feeling is usually right.

Dec 12, 2009 6:26 AM

Guest :

Hi my girl has been talking to a guy who she call a friend she dose not talk to me alot like she did befor. i ask her why and she said she likes to talk to people not just me but hes the only person.she gets mad when i ask her to talk to me or she tells me "i cant talk to my friend without you thinking im cheating'.so i dont know if she cheathing.

Dec 13, 2009 8:27 AM

Guest :

So what do I do when periodically when my wife and I get into a heated argurment she will make statement that can damage a marriage! She once mentioned "divorce" months later she mentioned "seperation" then months later she mentioned that I make her feel as if "we're just not right for eachother"! And also every major internet chatting tool ever existed she insist of having an account (myspace/facebook/yahoo I.M/AIM) and once we got married I totally stopped going on myspace and still till this day I haven't opened a facebook account! Notice she'll say things out of distrust, always noticing that my zipper is unzipped (even as far as sniffing in between my zippers but does it in a descret playful laughing manor) despite her going on her chatting online spree why am I getting disected?

Jan 6, 2010 9:29 AM

Guest :

#5 is true, trust your gut. I grabbed my girlfriends cell phone and seen a lot of numbers I didn't so I kept a close eye on it. I found one number that was texting and calling at weird times of the day so I wanted to find out who owned it. I used http://www.411reversemobility.com to find out who owned that cell phone number since free reverse directories didn't include cell phone numbers. After I found out who was calling, I confronted her and she broke down and told me everything. Again trust your gut and use the services available to you to find the truth.

Feb 2, 2010 6:10 AM

Guest :

I liked it ,but no one ever asks If my wife kids about men at work want her. and her kidding about her wanting to have sex with them .. Is she cheating ? because 17 years ago she cheated on me with a doctor in the hospital where she still works to day.this is what she did back then we were married for 7 years back then

22 Comments