Spotting Lies with Body Language
How to tell if they’re Lying or Keeping Something from You
How do you tell if he's lying? How do you tell if she's lying? Here's how to use body language to read your partner and find out if they're telling the truth.
Constant paranoia (‘Does she still love me?’ ‘Is he cheating on me?’) is never a good thing, but learning how to spot a lie can actually strengthen your relationship. Just as important as actually spotting lies is knowing that you can. When you don’t have to worry about getting the truth, you can relax and allow real long-term trust to develop rather than letting suspicion cripple your relationship. And if your partner does lie to you, the ability to spot it will mean you can catch the problem early.
One of the simplest and most effective ways to spot a lie is by the liar’s body language. We all send out a stream of non-verbal cues whenever we’re talking. By knowing the tell-tale signs, you should be able to spot a liar through their actions, not their words.
Feet and Arms
Look out for a sudden crossing of the arms or legs, particularly if the person does it just as they tell what you think is a lie.
Posture
An erect, very stiff posture can be a sign that someone’s lying (particularly if this way of standing isn’t normal for them). They may shift from foot to foot – their posture actually looks uncomfortable, which is probably exactly how they’re feeling.
Hands
Someone telling a lie tends to reduce the number of gestures they make (ironically, because they’re worried their gestures will give them away). This is why some people put their hands in their pockets (or clench them tightly together) when they’re telling a lie – it’s a way of ensuring their hands stay under control. It’s interesting to note how politicians often use a lot of hand gestures when making speeches. Whether this is because they’re being honest or just trying to appear so is left for the reader to decide.
Touching the Face
The ultimate sign of a lie is covering the mouth while speaking (think of the ‘Speak no Evil’ monkey), but most of us have learned to tone down our body language while lying so the sign is given more subtly. Look for touches of the mouth, or more commonly the nose, ear or chin (it’s interesting to note how many people get an ‘itchy nose’ while lying). (Body Language, Jane Lyle).
Direction
It’s surprising how many people actually turn away from the listener when lying – the classic example being a quick comment tossed over the shoulder while the person’s doing something else.
Avoidance
The discomfort of telling a lie can make the liar physically avoid you: you sit down next to them, they get up. You follow them into the kitchen; they move to the bedroom, perhaps suddenly ‘remembering’ something they need to do.
Remember that we all make all of these signs at one time or another while we’re not lying. The key to spotting a lie is in noticing what’s unusual for the speaker (one reason why it’s easier to spot lies in people we know) and what signs occur just as the suspected lie is told.
