The first three days of a break up can be the darkest. Here are some practical tips to get you through the worst of it so you can get back on your feet.
We’ve all weathered the emotional maelstrom that accompanies the end of a relationship. Whether you’re the dumper or the dumped the initial couple of weeks after the break up can seem like a never ending wave of grief, anger and despair.
While your outlook may be bleak, how you act in the first three days of your break up will set the tone for your entire recovery period. Here are some practical tips to help you deal with the aftermath of a broken heart.
Day 1: Clean House
It still hasn’t really sunk in yet, and you’re probably feeling a little numb right now. Take advantage of that feeling and get moving. Remember- out of sight, out of mind!
- Collect any items belonging to your ex that they will want back. This includes his old sweatshirt that you like to wear around the house. Even though it might seem painful, you will thank yourself later. Give all of these items to a trusted friend to deliver for you.
- Create an "Ex-Box." Gather any pictures of the two of you together, gifts, notes and letters and give it to a family member or friend for safe keeping. Tell them that you do not want access to the box for at least 60 days. This will prevent you from making any rash decisions about its contents while your emotions are clouding you judgment.
Day 2: Create Safety Nets
As the shock wears off, you might be tempted to call or reach out to your ex. Put these safety measures in place to prevent you from doing something now that you’ll end up regretting later.
- Erase your ex’s contact information from your cell phone, Black Berry, computer and address book. This includes all text messages, pictures on your cell phone and emails. (If you must, you can print out the emails you can’t bear to lose and place them in your box for safe keeping.) This will prevent you re-reading old messages and over analyzing past emails for hidden meanings. Not to mention the temptation of dialing them after you've had one too many to drink.
- Block or remove them completely from all Instant Messaging programs or social networking sites such as MySpace or Facebook. This move is essential in getting over someone. You can always add them back afterwards, but for the time being you need to focus on you and stalking them online or trying to decipher their MSN names will do nothing but drive you slowly and painfully insane.
Day 3- Let it out
By now it's probably hit you: they're not coming back. The sadness you feel might seem never ending, but don't worry- it's not.
- Get a few friends to be your life line. These should be people you can count on who you can call anytime when the urge to call your ex strikes. It’s their job to tell you to be strong, and that you will get through this. Choose friends that will be supportive and understanding for as long as you feel you need it.
- Take some time off work or school. There’s nothing worse than bursting into tears at the office or in a classroom after someone innocently asks you how you are doing. Give yourself a quiet space where you can go and deal with your emotions. Rent some sad movies, eat some ice cream and cry your eyes out. The sooner you get this part over with, the sooner you're on the road to recovery.
Once you've survived the first three days, it will get a little bit easier.
