Being aware of when to shut your mouth and open your ears is one of the keys to a great relationship.
Communication skills are an important part of many areas of life. After all, if you can’t get along with your family, friends, or coworkers, chances are you’ll struggle when it comes to being understood and treated fairly.
In a great relationship, knowing when to talk and when to listen can provide both you and your mate with lasting happiness. But when should you speak up and when should you keep quiet? Here are a few tips to help you out.
Situation: Your partner comes home every night complaining about work. Every story seems to be the same. You can’t take it anymore!
Talk or Listen?
- Listen. Your partner wants to feel supported and cared for. If they can’t share their daily frustrations with you, they may think you aren’t concerned about them. Even if you’ve heard the same story every day for the last month, remain silent while your partner vents. Chances are their ranting won’t go on for long, and when your partner is done they will likely feel even more loved because you cared enough not to interrupt or belittle them.
Situation: Your partner’s ex is rude to you. When you see them they either ignore you or constantly talk about the past just to shut you out of the conversation.
Talk or Listen?
- Talk… but not to the ex. Don’t get dragged down to the level of someone petty enough to play games in order to make you feel uncomfortable. Talk to your partner in a neutral setting and let them know the specific behaviors you’ve had to endure. Chances are your partner has noticed them, too. Confronting the ex isn’t your job: it’s your partner’s.
Situation: You feel left out of your partner’s life. He or she seems distracted and distant, and while things are good with you two, you fail to click on certain levels. You don’t want to bring it up and start a fight, but at the same time you’re not happy.
Talk or Listen?
- Talk… then listen. First tell your partner exactly how your feel in a calm and un-reproachful manner. Make it clear that you’re bringing the issue up because you want things to be great between the two of you, and because you want to be there for your mate if they’re having a rough time. Listen closely to how your mate responds. Perhaps they’ve been having a hard time at work and haven’t wanted to dump it all on you. Or perhaps they are having an emotional affair and don't realize that you've noticed a change. Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t cut your partner off once they start talking. It’s important to feel comfortable enough to let your feelings known without being afraid that any issue will automatically start a fight. Have faith in your relationship and show it the care it deserves.
