Whilst it was once the realm of the extremely sad and desperate, speed dating doesn’t seem to have quite the stigma attached to it these days. Sure, not everyone at the events will be ice cool and right up your street, but you'd be surprised at the quality of matches you can make in a few minutes. Over the course of an evening, some excellent bonds can be made, but many people get it wrong, and don't realise that the key connections happen after the dates.
When you go, the emphasis of the event is usually on the three (or four, or five) minute period in which you chat to your respective dates. Advice is usually centered on how to present yourself, what to talk about and general etiquette. While this is undoubtedly important, it overlooks one key factor.
Of course, the speed dating companies will never really reveal this secret, because it diminishes the magic touch of the product and makes things seem a little bit seedier than they would like it to appear. The key ingredient is obvious: alcohol.
In this respect, there is little different from an ordinary night out. People drink, and the more they do, the fewer inhibitions they have and the better other people look. We canal try to deny this, but it’s the truth. Similarly, speed dating will usually be held in a bar, often with a complimentary drink.
People attending will often be nervous, and therefore drink slightly more than they usually would, and probably at a faster speed. Often free finger food or nibbles will be advertised as part of the package, so many of the attendees will skip dinner. Thus their stomach isn’t lined, and the alcohol hits faster.
By the end of the session, which can take two or three hours, most people have had a few drinks, and this is where the evening really starts. Many of the matches aren’t made in the almost interview-like meeting period, but in the bar afterwards. Here a group tends to form, with everybody chatting around the table. As more drinks flow, some people will tend to separate and start flirting with one person in particular. This is where the action is; the speed dating is just a preamble to normal social interaction – it’s just that you’ve got a valid excuse to be talking to random strangers rather than having to target them and coming up with an excuse in the first place.
Of course, this is not to suggest that all Speed Dating companies rely on alcohol to work - some use innovations and ice-breaker games - but there can be no denying that a lot of the time, a few drinks play their part.
