With Christmas and New Year's out of the way, it's time to start thinking of the next upcoming holiday celebration, as February 14th is just around the corner. Valentine's Day is treasured by many as a day to commemorate their love for each other. It is also, however, reviled by others as the most dreaded and despised day of the year.
Even for couples, it can be a stressful time; but for those single folk out there, Valentine's Day has a way of triggering a slew of murky, hostile emotions. Watching other seemingly happy couples canoodling by the water cooler can be irritating at the best of times, but especially painful if you're spending the holiday alone. Media images reinforce these sentiments, as demonstrated by the commercial onslaught of jewelry, perfume and flower advertising.
But there is hope, and help for those playing it solo. Being single isn't necessarily the curse of death, and it does actually have some benefits; it just requires a slight change in perspective. This list will help keep your mind off cards and flowers and onto thinking about some good reasons to be single on Valentine's Day. So take heart and stop cringing at every gushy, lip-locked duo, or secretly envying the newest floral delivery to the office. Instead, find reasons to celebrate your single status and enjoy taking some time for yourself – it's really not that bad, so have fun with it.
Reasons for Her to be Single on Valentine's Day
- You don't have to shove that shiny new waffle iron up his unmentionables.
- No pretend smiles, violence, or wasted trips back to the store.
- You can eat the entire box of chocolate.
- You can watch Thelma and Louise in your worn-out, comfortable pj's.
- Sometimes it's fun to drink champagne by yourself and dance to disco tunes in your living room.
- It's okay if you're having a bad hair day. No one will notice.
- Those tiny containers of Haagen Dazs were obviously designed for one person.
- Hairy legs? No problem.
- You get to spend quality time with your cat.
- You can have a Sex in the City party with your other single girlfriends.
- It's a great day to call in sick.
- You don't have to have any expectations.
- You can have the remote control all to yourself.
- Watching the Cosmo Channel and drinking margaritas is a great stress reliever.
- You can be thankful you're not with the poor schmuck who forgot about Valentine's Day altogether.
Reasons for Him to be Single on Valentine's Day
- You don't have to protect your unmentionables.
- You don't have to sit through chick flicks and pretend to like them.
- You get to stay home and drink beer.
- No clueless trips to Victoria's Secret, not knowing what size she is. The salesgirls will thank you.
- One less day to have to remember – it's just Saturday.
- You don't have to shave – or even shower.
- Forgot to bring your suit to the dry cleaners? Don't worry, you won't need it.
- No fretting about whether or not you'll get lucky – without a date on your arm, it isn't going to happen.
- You can watch The Fight Channel all night long.
- You don't have to wait in line with those other last-minute Valentine's Day shoppers.
- Dying to see the latest action flick? You'll have the best seat in the house.
- You don't have to talk about your feelings.
- You don't have to talk.
- No one will stop you from playing video games.
- You can save your money to buy more video games.
Celebrate Being Yourself
Spending Valentine's Day alone really does not have to be painful. Valentine's Day has a way of creating the mythology that all couples are universally happy, which is simply not the case. Dr. Laura S. Brown, Professor of Psychology at Argosy University in Seattle, provides helpful advice on how singles can deal with the pressures of Cupid's day in Valentine's Day Survival Guide for Singles.
Brown's main piece of advice is to realize that one's identity is not defined by his or her relationship status. "Love is not about a particular day, or about cards, flowers, or even being in a relationship. The illusion that coupled people are happy and well-loved can feed feelings of loneliness or isolation for people who aren't with someone, and wish they were", says Brown.
Brown also encourages singles to recognize that Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday and not truly about love and relationships. She stresses the importance of not feeling defeated by Valentine's Day, but rather urges singles to celebrate it.
Planning a party in advance with other single people is a great way to lessen the anxiety associated with Valentine's Day, and also presents the potential of meeting new people. Spending quality time with friends and family – people with whom positive relationships are already established – is also recommended.
Taking up a new activity, like yoga, or volunteering for a cause will help establish focus on creating meaning in one's own life by strengthening character and identity, rather than focusing on what's missing. The point is to de-emphasize the commercial, lovey-dovey media representation of Valentine's Day, and instead focus on a change in perspective, and perhaps better oneself in the process.
The most important message that singles should remember on Valentine's Day is that love is not just for couples, but for everybody.
Have a date after all? Read this article for some unique ideas on how to spend Valentine's Day together.
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