One of the best fictional examples of a home-wrecking brother is "Brother Man" in Tennessee William’s masterpiece Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. In that case, Brick's younger brother, Goober, was competing with and demeaning his sister-in-law, Maggie the Cat, as he vied for the master share of Big Daddy’s estate. A smart girlfriend, hopefully, defuses and does not fuel sibling rivalry.
Why His Brother May Not Like His Sibling's SO
Understand that no matter how old these brothers are, and how much they love each other, their relationship is based on competition. His brother sees a boyfriend’s relationship with a woman as a direct challenge to his ability to find the prettiest, smartest, richest girlfriend with the best build in the world. Therefore, if he acts prickly, he is actually complimenting his brother’s choice.
A woman’s role in this invisible competition is confusing because the better she comes off to her boyfriend’s family, the more his brother is going to try to undermine her. However, she should not take such attentions personally. Her best bet is to act neutrally in the initial stages of the relationship. Then she should keep things on a sisterly basis. This means, to succeed in winning his trust and affection, it is necessary to kid him, evaluate him unfavorably with his brother, and top him in childhood horror stories. Men find this amusing, and the ice is broken
If the brother is single, divorced or gay, he may even grow attached once his initial obnoxiousness wears off. A girlfriend-in-law may wish to divert his attentions by introducing him to a likely prospect, but it’s risky trying to fix up a brother. If his date doesn’t like him, the brother is going to blame the fixer upper. However, a girfriend may determine that the risk is worth it, even if deters his criticism temporarily.
Win Over the Brother’s Significant Other
A woman’s strongest ally, always, is the brother’s wife or girlfriend. She immediately sees an accomplice in the crime of loving these two related men. She wants to hang out because she’s essentially an outsider too. Cultivate this woman, because whatever differences may arise, a mutual affection for these brothers is always going to be common ground. Her influence is going to neutralize any innate animosity the brother feels.
Remember, that if things work out, this man is the future uncle of prospective children, and his children, if he has any, are cousins. The relationship forged with him is a link in the family network, and it’s worth the pain in the…neck.
