If a man and a woman are both single parents, the temptation to band together for outings is strong. An international organization, Parents Without Partners, provides group activities and social occasions for single parents that are fun without being intimidating. It also provides therapy for the single parent in the form of discussions, professional speakers, study groups, publications, and activities for families.
Regardless, a potential couple, with children from other marriages or relationships, should limit group interactions in the early stages of a relationship, however tempting it may be.
Spend Time Together as a Couple
Combining offspring seems to make sense since dating a single parent costs a fortune for separate babysitters. Also, his kids may already be friends with her kids, which is how everyone met in the first place. The trouble with this arrangement is that a man and a woman never get to know each other outside of the context of being parents. How the children feel about each other begins to take on more importance than how a man and a woman feel about each other.
Be very, very careful with this scenario. Everyone can wind up hurt and lonely or, even worse, bound together for all the wrong reasons. When dating another single parent, limit family get-togethers to once a month, and make sure to include many other friends in children’s lives to dilute the impact of the ready-made clan. Tell them to keep in mind that friends are a lot more fun than stepbrothers or stepsisters, and that two houses are actually a refuge, especially in the early stages of dating.
How to Get to Know Another Single Parent
According to The Stepfamily Foundation, 1300 new stepfamilies are formed every day in America. When children are involved, 66% of these stepfamilies break up. Don’t become another grim statistic; never feel pressured to hook up with another single parent because he is emotionally or financially needy. In fact, such behavior should serve as a huge red flag. A single-parent has a huge responsibility to choose a partner who is compatible with everyone in the family.
Make a lot of daytime dates with a single-parent friend: lunch, walks, gym time, picnics, swimming. It’s easier to find cheap child-care during the day when children are at school, or at friend’s house, or an ex-spouse’s house than during the weekend. Try to find trustworthy parents who reciprocate sleepovers so there is also free time to go out at night. Don’t group children together abruptly and often. If a single-parent couple feels events are going excessively slowly, they’re probably going just slowly enough.
